There was a news item in a leading daily on July, 10 [http://paper.hindustantimes.com/epaper/showlink.aspx?bookmarkid=T2URPNWH6BC] about a recent endeavour to push back India’s historical period by a cool 6000 years under this new political dispensation. The task was being handled by the cultural wing of the relevant ministry and the faculty in the department of Sanskrit of Delhi University. I was so impressed with the effort to invent history that I had to commemorate the exercise in verse.
India’s New Past
Friends, there is news, hot off the press,
that the new custodians of our history, the RSS,
have an ally in Delhi University at last,
to locate India’s unity in the remotest past.
The Sanskrit department situated there,
have announced with great fanfare,
a new past which they have now recovered,
from passages in the Vedas they’ve just discovered.
Ably assisted by the MHRD’s new wingman,
the Rashtriya Veda Viday Pratisthan ,
the Sanskritists of this noble institution,
promise Indian history an all new interpretation.
India’s past will have a brand new chronology,
and also apparently an interesting teleology,
almost overnight we’ll be able to forage,
nearly 6000 extra years for our civilisation’s age.
We’ll be the oldest civilisation ever known,
so proudly see how much we’ve grown,
we knew writing before writing even began,
we first reached the moon in our pushpak viman.
Aryans were local, never came through migrations,
they knew geometry, algebra, and linear regressions,
they were all knowing, because you see,
they were the cleverest even when swinging on a tree.
They bestowed the oldest continuing civilisation on us,
plus nuclear physics, space travel and the mariners compass,
they gave us texts written by venerated sages,
whose knowledge and wisdom has reverberated through the ages.
We have corrected all the wrongs with our chronology,
we have a new history, also a new archaeology,
the Indus Valley seals, now we know,
were used by merchants to label their cargo.
We had steamships before steam was invented,
we had cement before anything got cemented,
we were Aryans, the best of them all,
so what if Hitler had this same clarion call.
Since we never migrated or travelled anywhere,
those who came were the undesirables, beware,
they came to conquer and loot , all perverts,
these Muslims and Christians, came only to get converts.
Of course our civilisation was open, can’t you see?,
as Aryans what else if not this could it be?
caste, sudras, or matters like untouchability,
were all Muslim imports in this land of the free.
Anyway with this discovery of our Aryan past,
we have corrected the course of our history, at last,
our archaeologists and linguists will now go and salvage,
complex technologies written in God’s own language.
All blame now will be on two evildoers,
Cambridge scholars and Marxist boors,
we’ll send them running, let them begone,
so what if one our savants is a Cambridge don.
We’ll obliterate the north-south divide,
arya putras had absolutely nothing to hide,
their concerns were pure and transparent,
the meaning of the word dasyu was not that apparent.
We didn’t believe in race, colour or skin,
nor in birth, heritage or next of kin,
those darker than us had misguided emotions,
they could have instead asked for skin lightening lotions.
Caste, that most troublesome institution,
It’s prohibited in this day’s constitution,
but we never had caste when we were all Aryans,
sudras were those who were merely contrarians.
We have scholars who will hopefully find,
that India was a civilisation, only one of its kind,
where in the past no one was oppressed,
no man, woman or child was ever repressed.
Everyone as we’ll show was happily Brahamanised,
if not that, at least joyfully Sanskritsed,
in our newly discovered history we’ll be one Aryan folk,
Hitler’s belief was similar, so he just called them volk.