An Ode to Competent Authority
O, to be competent authority when the powers that be,
are with me, with me, and only with me.
I can do as I please for I have the numbers,
and even if I don’t I can fill them with cucumbers.
O, to be competent authority, what hubris I enjoy,
I can mislead, manipulate, or use any other devious ploy.
For I can do as I please because I’ve been told,
I’ll be rewarded if I bend, scrape and just fold.
O, to be competent authority, I now have no regard,
if what I look after is screwed, or simply buggered.
For I can do as I please, as long as I’m able,
to turn an institution into a gau-shala, or perhaps a stable.
O, to be competent authority, now the weather is good,
I know how to suck up, and I know I should.
For then I can do as I please, with nary a care,
I’ll send notices and warnings to all those who dare.
O, to be competent authority, it’s like money in the bank,
Just bend and scrape, and sometimes ask for a tank.
And when in doubt I’ll consult generals, offer salutations,
And to clarify procedures I’ll just invent regulations.
O, to be competent authority, my masters must stay pleased,
even though I must bravely intake all gases they’ve released.
For then I can do as I please, yet hope, and pray,
that they don’t change their minds and ask me to bray.