An Ode to Competent Authority

O, to be competent authority when the powers that be,

are with me, with me, and only with me.

I can do as I please for I have the numbers,

and even if I don’t I can fill them with cucumbers.

 

O, to be competent authority, what hubris I enjoy,

I can mislead, manipulate, or use any other devious ploy.

For I can do as I please because I’ve been told,

I’ll be rewarded if I bend, scrape and just fold.

 

O, to be competent authority, I now have no regard,

if what I look after is screwed, or simply buggered.

For I can do as I please, as long as I’m able,

to turn an institution into a gau-shala, or perhaps a stable.

 

O, to be competent authority, now the weather is good,

I know how to suck up, and I know I should.

For then I can do as I please, with nary a care,

I’ll send notices and warnings to all those who dare.

 

O,  to be competent authority,  it’s like money in the bank,

Just bend and scrape, and sometimes ask for a tank.

And when in doubt I’ll consult generals, offer salutations,

And to clarify procedures I’ll just invent regulations.

 

O, to be competent authority, my masters must stay pleased,

even though I must bravely intake all gases they’ve released.

For then I can do as I please, yet hope, and pray,

that they don’t change their minds and ask me to bray.